Weaknesses

Why am I so good at pointing out my weaknesses and so vague about my strengths? Was it my upbringing, personality, culture or an almost universal human tendency that points me in this direction?

I will grant that there is a needed place for focusing on weaknesses. When those weaknesses become roadblocks in relationships or work they must be addressed. I have benefited from addressing these weaknesses especially in relationships.

I'm reading a book right now called, "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton. They make a great point in the book that we have a tendency to focus on peoples weaknesses instead of strengths. As a result, we really lack a focus on developing the strengths of people. They say we usually have about 5 areas of talent that can be developed into strengths. Whiles weaknesses can be addressed to bring us to a level of competency, only talent areas can be developed into true strengths.

This book has helped me focus my strengths. It's so much more motivating to see there are some great talents that I have to offer. My responsibility is to develop these talents into strengths so that they can benefit others at work, home or wherever.

I'm reminded of that parable where 3 people are given some money by the king. 2 of them take some risks and get a good return on the money. The 3rd person takes the money and buries it in the ground because he's afraid of losing any of it. When the king comes back he's upset with the 3rd guy because he's squandered the opportunity to at least put the money in the bank to earn a little interest. The 3rd guy's fear of making a mistake with the money kept him from working with what he was given.

So, if I live my life trying only to minimize my weaknesses, it's like burying the money in the back yard. I'm squandering my time & energy out of a fear of making mistakes. I can offer so much more to the world by developing strengths rather than just minimizing weaknesses. I think a big reason God put me here was to develop those strengths to bless others.

Noise

For a few weeks now I've been specifically aware that I need some silence and solitude in my life. Too much noise going on in my brain. I want to turn down the static a bit. I need to be quiet long enough to get in touch with my own heart and with God.

Knowing this was not enough to move me until I started experiencing the ill effects of the noise. The ill effects being hyper sensitivity to any perceived criticism and a short temper.

So, after having to apologize to a couple people for my behavior and attitude, I have now taken a couple baby steps toward change. A few quiet minutes at home, in the car, before work etc. It takes some practice to learn to be quiet again.

Bitchin Candidate

I saw an interview with John Kerry on TV. The interviewer asked John Kerry why this one guy had lost a recent election. They were not talking about John Kerry's failed bid for the presidency. If I remember correctly, Kerry was outdoors, maybe fishing, when they were interviewing him.

Kerry said, "He lost because he was a bitch." What he meant by the word bitch was that this candidate complained too much in the campaign. I was surprised and impressed by how Kerry talked to so directly. He didn't try to sugar coat the truth.

Oh, and one other important detail, this interview was not real. It was just a dream that I had the other night.

Presidential Dreams

Funny how our dreams take us to places and interact with people we don't even know in real life.

I had a dream the other day about talking to President Bush. He was digging a hole with a shovel for the Australians. It was a part of his ceremonial duty. I thought it was rather odd that he had to do weird stuff like that. So, I commented to him, "It sure is weird some of the things you have to do in your job." He said, "Thank you."

He completely missed my point about the odd things he has to do in his job. I was trying to sympathize with him and he was oblivious.

No more sympathy from me for the odd things you have to do in your job Mr. Bush.

Lonely Lunches

Anne Lamott in her book, "Bird by Bird" suggests that we write about school lunches when we get stuck on what to write.

I remember paper bag lunches with sandwiches: bologna, salami ( only hard salami was good - the other kinds sucked ), peanut butter (creamy Jif only) & jelly, ham and cheese (American cheese only). I got so sick and tired of these sandwiches that to this day I don't like to eat cold sandwiches. Of course, if you heat up any of these sandwiches it suddenly sounds much better to me. Go figure.

And, guess what we did in those days...we kept our sack lunches in our lockers until lunch! We could have died from salmonella poisoning! That bacteria had so much time to ferment.

Oh, and then there's the dreaded lunch hour when all my shyness & insecurity came out in full force. I was the guy who observed but didn't interact. I didn't know how to be normal. I desperately wanted to fit in. A couple people had some mercy on me and were friendly. Lunches were very lonely times. Very lonely times.

Then, we moved to a house just 2 blocks from my high school. I went home and ate lunch! No more cold sandwiches. No more lonely lunches. Now I had company - "The Young & the Restless."

Can I have a mulligan for my high school years?

Getting Started

Have you had that sense that you're running in a hamster wheel in your mind? Much of my life was spent running circles in my brain with thoughts that needed to get some air. I was breathing too much of my own air if you know what I mean. This blog is a part of the practice of getting these thoughts out of my own head and bring them into world.

Another inspiration for this blog is an attempt to draw more on the creative side of my brain. I have a task oriented job. I tend to value task more than the creative. But, I have surrounded myself recently with a group of people who are those "creative types" as the dentist's wife in "Waiting for Guffman" calls them. I have come away seeing a greater need for exploring more of this side of me. Who knows what's there? Maybe I am one of those "creative types."

Finally, I just need to practice writing. Writing in a personal journal has been a part of my life for nearly 20 years. It's been a valuable tool in working out difficult emotions. Now it's time to spread my wings a bit more and see where this might go.