Confessions of a Conservative
When we set up a political candidate, a political philosophy, a political issue or a political party as our ultimate point of reference we are in trouble. We have likely created a reference point that is a mirror of ourselves. Sometimes that mirror is not so pretty.
I used to be one of those hardcore conservatives who listened to Rush Limbaugh every day. I relished having the correct views on the world. I had contempt for those who disagreed with me. I was right and they were wrong. It felt good. I had a tightly held conservative idealism and was praying for a political savior who would change the world for conservatism.
God was a conservative and was on my side of the issues. It was the bad culture out there that didn't believe in God and my way of seeing the world. They were bad. I was good. They needed to change. I didn't. I was angry at them for messing up this good nation. They were the problem, I wasn't. They loved death, I loved life.
Problem was, my political views started getting in the way of more important things like loving people. Contempt has a way of souring your attitude toward anyone who does not agree with you. If I am called to love my neighbor, then I have to love people with different views of the world.
Lately I'm attempting to take a step back and look at issues through the eyes of my faith. The answers are sometimes less clear. More often I find myself saying I'm not sure what's best. I'm still a bit of a political junkie but I try to avoid being too partisan either way.
I used to be one of those hardcore conservatives who listened to Rush Limbaugh every day. I relished having the correct views on the world. I had contempt for those who disagreed with me. I was right and they were wrong. It felt good. I had a tightly held conservative idealism and was praying for a political savior who would change the world for conservatism.
God was a conservative and was on my side of the issues. It was the bad culture out there that didn't believe in God and my way of seeing the world. They were bad. I was good. They needed to change. I didn't. I was angry at them for messing up this good nation. They were the problem, I wasn't. They loved death, I loved life.
Problem was, my political views started getting in the way of more important things like loving people. Contempt has a way of souring your attitude toward anyone who does not agree with you. If I am called to love my neighbor, then I have to love people with different views of the world.
Lately I'm attempting to take a step back and look at issues through the eyes of my faith. The answers are sometimes less clear. More often I find myself saying I'm not sure what's best. I'm still a bit of a political junkie but I try to avoid being too partisan either way.
posted by Kevmo at 11:45 PM
3 Comments:
I love your humility Kevmo. I can relate to everything you've said. (Except the Rush part...). My dad was very conservative, on almost every issue. I grew up "non-partisan," but with a distrust of "liberals" and a mild conspiracy complex. Again, as I grew up I realized my walls were not congruent with my faith. I've been in the deconstruction process now for 20 years, and I'm still turning over rocks and finding ick. But I've got a lot more room for love than I had.
Thank for writing this.
I just now took the time to read your post on this subject. I find myself the majority of the time on the conservative end of the spectrum but occaisionally feel the "party line" is a little harsh or out of line.
I do not often have loathing feelings for those who disagree, but these days find little use for political discussion with them as opposing views seem to become more and more polarized. The point - counter point culture of Hannity and Colmes and all the other cable news "analysis" shows is no analysis or discussion at all, but rather a yelling contest between two individuals who would never even acknowledge that there could be a middle ground. The extreme left and extreme right are shaping the political landscape and trying to pull the middle their way.
While a centrist political savior is a grand idea, who would it be? A true moderate on all issues is just a person with little or no convictions either way. Bill Clinton is probably the closest we have seen to this and he was definitely not the answer. Conservative on fiscal issues and liberal on social issues, or vice versa? Who would we support?
Because I am also a political junkie, I find the need to align myself one way or another come election time even though some issues create a lot of gray for me. I do not see the Democrats coming to the center or center-right on the issues I hold most dear. So after all this discussion and self analysis it puts me right back where I started.
Kevmo,
Very nicely stated and right on. I think a lot of us can relate. Thanks for the honest and real entry.
JR
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